Living life by design, not default in 2023
Confession: In 2022 I did not take my own advice. I lived my life largely by default. As the calendar flipped from the year 2021 to 2022 I hadn’t taken any time to reflect on the year passed, considered how I wanted life to be in 2022 or articulated any specific goals for myself. I kinda had some ideas in my head but I didn’t honour my usual practice. Something that I’ve done consistently for over 15 years.
To be fair to myself, I was traversing a huge life transition of becoming a parent for the first time which completely changed how I lived my life in a beautiful, messy and chaotic way. Baby or no baby, getting caught up in the busyness of living is something that can happen to any of us. There’s always emails to answer, events to attend, home admin to complete, people who need our attention, jobs to be done - the list is endless.
What I really noticed, however, was the negative impact of not making time for my goals had on the way I experienced life in 2022. I kind of felt lost all year. I still enjoyed life and managed to keep a small, joyful child alive, tend to my relationships, hold down a job, and keep my business going but everything felt hard. I often didn’t know what I was doing or why - I was just reacting most of the time. I had no measure of achievement and regularly felt uninspired. I questioned myself constantly. It was cognitively exhausting. When I began to dig into the science of goal setting, it was immediately obvious as to why I was feeling so crappy about myself.
Setting goals are linked with higher motivation, self-esteem, self-confidence, and autonomy (Chowdhury, Roy, 2022).
It seems that the goals we have for ourselves plays a role in shaping the way we see ourselves and others. When we have personal goals we are more likely to enjoy a positive approach to life and be more resilient to set backs.
Furthermore, psychologists and mental health researchers have associated goals with a higher predictability of success (Matthews, G. 2015).
Feelings of motivation? Feeling higher levels of self-confidence? Feeling greater self esteem? Yes please! Give me some of that!
With all this in mind, you can bet your bottom dollar I made time for goal setting and vision boarding this new year. Now, I want to pause here and give you permission to do this anytime of the year. Goal setting is not exclusive to January, I promise.
So this is my practice when it comes to living life by design.
Grandscale imagining
Get in flow and start imagining what you want your life to look like! This is the fun part so make it a fun experience. Start with meditation to really tune into your body, your heart and your deepest desires. Then grab a pen and begin to write about your dream life as if it is already real. Consider what this life entails in respect to Personal Growth, Romance, Family & Friends, Career, Finances, Health, Physical Environment, Fun & Recreation.
There’s no rules for what your life needs to look like - it’s your life. So long as it makes sense for you and feels aligned to you.
2. Be a goal getter
Let’s turn this dream into a reality by converting it into goals. The widely accepted best practice for goal setting is the SMART Goal methodology first coined by George Foran. That is, writing goals that are specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time-bound. So let’s imagine that in step 1 you desired a life where you bought your own home.
To turn that into a SMART goal you might say I want to buy a home in Brisbane, QLD within 10kms of the city for under $1M that you can live in with your partner by the end of 2023. It’s definitely specific. It’s measurable because you’ll know you’ve been successful if you actually buy a home. It’s attainable because theoretically you should be able to buy a home. Determining if it’s achievable might require you to take some extra steps to work out how much you need as a down payment (deposit) and how much you can afford to borrow in a home loan but assuming both of those are in place, then yes it’s realistic. In this scenario that’s likely to be a downpayment of around ~$235,000 and a home loan around $800,000. Finally, it’s time bound because you’ve set the target date of achieving it to by the end of 2023.
3. Know your why
This one is a game changer for anchoring your commitment to your goals because it engages your emotions and our emotions are very powerful motivators that keep you on track. To help you figure out why you could ask yourself things like, ‘what’s the purpose of this goal'?’, ‘how would achieving this goal make me feel'?’, ‘what would achieving this goal mean to me?’ or ‘which of my personal values does this align to?’.
So in the example of home ownership your why might be because owning your own makes you feel physically safe and emotionally secure.
4. Visualise
Some say seeing is believing. For me, seeing is a reminder to keep me focused. It anchors me to the goals I’ve set, keeps me motivated and inspires the feeling that achieving that goal will bring. It rewires my brain to seek opportunities to make decisions and take action that align with my goals. In essence, it keeps me on track.
As a bonus, the art of vision boarding is creative and fun. Once upon a time you had to trek down to the local newsagency and outlay a small fortune in magazines to create a vision board. Not so in 2023, you can just jump on pinterest, canva or instagram to find images that align with your goals and arrange them into a digital vision board. If you’re like me and prefer a physical vision board, simply print off the images and arrange them on a board. I like to add in words of affirmation that also support my goals.
5.Create rituals
Who do you need to be and what do you need to regularly do in order to achieve your goals? This step involves taking the goal and starting to break it down into an action plan. The steps that are going to make your goal a reality.
In the example of owning your own home, rituals you might create include the act of transferring money into a joint savings account every time you’re paid, researching real estate and attending house inspections, engaging the assistance of a mortgage broker or even doing some visualisation of what that perfect home looks and feels like.
Whatever rituals you adopt, don’t let perfect get in the way of progress. Sometimes we create an expectation that it’s all or nothing when it comes to our goals. That unless we do it perfectly, we might as well not do it at all. That’s rubbish. Every step you take is progress toward your desired life and every bit of progress is good. Keep going.
So give this practice a go and let me know how it works for you! You’re welcome to use my free vision board and goal setting templates to help you get started.
Of course, if you are looking for some one to be your personal cheerleader on your journey to create financial wellbeing this year then please book in a chat with me. I would love to support you. Let me be your guide to living life by design, not default.